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T O P I C
2008 TOTY Awards
January 22nd 2009, 03:22 CET by m0nty

CheesyPoof is the one who's late this time, so I have reassumed my chairmanship of the PlanetCrap Troll Of The Year awards. You were all nominated, as usual, but only a select few won the prestigious trophies.*

CheesyPoof noted down his ideas in a poorly structured Google Doc filled with unintelligible gibberish, so I'll let him add his thoughts in the comments lest you all develop the same sort of migraine I suffered through trying to decipher it. Of course, what the fans want are the traditional categories, so without further ado...

FOREIGN DIVISION
Best Troll By A Publisher (Total PC Gaming for asking Dumdeedum to do a regular comic)

PLANETCRAP DIVISION
PlanetCrap's Worst Attempt At A Troll (gaggle for this post)
PlanetCrap's Least Comprehensible Troll (bishop for reasons which need no further exposition, unlike his posts)
PlanetCrap's Most Pretentious Troll (m0nty for pretending he will make money from his dumb site LULZ amirite)
PlanetCrap's Best Drama Queen Troll (UncleJeet for blogging his marriage breakdown, divorce and new engagement just to get Crappers talking about him again)
PlanetCrap's Best Multiclass Troll [e.g. Dev/Troll, Journo/Troll] (PenguinX for his blossoming artistic career, making him our resident Artiste/Troll)
PlanetCrap's Most Rabid Fanboi (BobJustBob for his undying love for Spore in the face of massive letdown of expectations)
PlanetCrap's Best User of Cliches To Deflect Trolls (jjohnsen for being a sport with that whole Mormon thing)
PlanetCrap's Best Cliche-spawning Troll (yotsuya... hopefully the next cliche will be something related to an AZ Super Bowl win)
PlanetCrap's Most Predictable Troll (Funkdrunk for his only appearances being threats against people who mention or talk to a particular Crapper)
PlanetCrap's Most Imaginative Troll (Jibble for this post)
PlanetCrap's Best Use Of Technical Jargon In A Troll (bago... nuff said)
PlanetCrap's Best Political Correctness Troll (Hugin  - honorable mention as always for Caryn, e.g. her sterling work on Nazis in the Gaijin thread, but Hugin was there fighting the good fight too)
Best Troll In A PlanetCrap Topic (Chunkstyle for So is Planetcrap dead then?)
PlanetCrap's Most Witty Troll (Shadarr - more of a career TOTY than anything spectacular he did in 2008)
PlanetCrap's Most Convincing Conversion From Troll To Human (The_Joker for having a kid and then realising that he had to grow the fuck up)
PlanetCrap's Best New Troll (TreeFrog in the absence of any actually worthy candidates... proof that he is a troll)
PlanetCrap's Trolling Lifetime Achievement Award (Warren Marshall just to piss him off)
PlanetCrap's Best Single Troll Post (Caryn for this with honorable mention to Gunp01nt for this)
PlanetCrap's Best Troll (FoRmaT... anyone who disagrees with this has obviously not spent enough time on the site, he is currently our pre-eminent troll by a long way)

* note: no actual trophies are to be handed out.
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: 2008 TOTY Awards

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#15 by CheesyPoof
2009-01-22 05:15:46
Further evidence of a fraudulent nominating committee: no award for this one.

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#16 by Shadarr
2009-01-22 05:34:40
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
m0nty gave himself a TOTY, you would've given yourself one.  I don't really see the significance.

Witnesses in the house heard Jones say "why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?" A few moments later, the witness heard the son say "Mama you done stabbed me."
#17 by McBain
2009-01-22 05:54:50
I'm glad I'm not nominated, I guess I'm mellowing out.
#18 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-22 07:40:00
http://uglycode.com
It's still much better than those lousy eastern-european awards last year.
#19 by FoRmaT
2009-01-22 14:49:17
I nominate all of you, for being hypocrite trolls, and for coming here and keeping this forum alive.

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#20 by Chunkstyle
2009-01-22 16:31:22
I'm honored and horrified.

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#21 by jjohnsen
2009-01-22 19:49:50
http://www.johnsenclan.com
Wait a minute, not trophy?  What do we do this for?

#22 by Caryn
2009-01-22 19:51:58
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
This is the best Trollie I've ever won.

#23 by CheesyPoof
2009-01-22 19:56:09
You haven't won anything yet! It's not the official one!

<Hugin_len> Basically, cheesy doesn't have awful taste in music, he's simply very white.
#24 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-22 20:04:58
http://uglycode.com
It says "2008 TOTY Awards". Sounds official to me. Also, the guy who posted it seems to be here longer than you, for over a month! I think he knows his stuff.
#25 by Shadarr
2009-01-22 20:14:15
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
CheesyPoof (#23):
You haven't won anything yet! It's not the official one!

First dressed is best dressed.

Witnesses in the house heard Jones say "why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?" A few moments later, the witness heard the son say "Mama you done stabbed me."
#26 by Caryn
2009-01-22 20:19:01
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
I WON IT FAIR AND SQUARE DON'T TAKE THIS FROM ME, CHEESY.

#27 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-22 20:33:30
http://uglycode.com
Now you've won another one for unexpectedly using all caps.
#28 by Jibble
2009-01-22 20:34:04
God damnit Cheesy, just post the real ones already.

I want to go to there.

Blog. 190 lbs.  10 to go.
#29 by TreeFrog
2009-01-22 20:35:08
Quit bitching and let's see your version, Cheesy. If I haven't won 2 or more awards I'll just go with m0nty's.

Moat.
#30 by Penguinx
2009-01-22 20:47:10
I won! They like me, they really like me!
#31 by anaqer
2009-01-22 20:55:58
I don't think I've posted anything even trollish enough last year.

If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!
#32 by Greg
2009-01-22 21:08:17
Cheesy wins best troll in a TOTY award thread.

#33 by G-Man
2009-01-22 21:24:58
I think I am PC's Most Overlooked Troll.
#34 by FoRmaT
2009-01-22 22:40:16
You are no troll.

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#35 by Wudi
2009-01-22 23:40:55
I'd like to the the Acadamy for the nomination and especialy you, the voter for...wait..WHAT? I WASN'T NOMINATED???

F U REDBEARD!

Zep--

Tom Chick is a hypocritical cunt.
#36 by OwenButler
2009-01-23 00:04:45
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
It's the Troll awards, not the Redneck loser awards.

#37 by Wudi
2009-01-23 00:14:08
Except, ya know. I'm a Yankee, Y'all.

Zep--

Tom Chick is a hypocritical cunt.
#38 by m0nty
2009-01-23 02:23:11
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
jjohnsen (#21):
Wait a minute, not trophy?  What do we do this for?

You don't do anything. CheesyPoof and I do all the work.

Hey Cheesy, post your stuff already. It's good.
#39 by m0nty
2009-01-23 02:25:57
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
FoRmaT (#19):
I nominate all of you, for being hypocrite trolls, and for coming here and keeping this forum alive.



 FoRmaT (#34):
You are no troll.


Bravo, sir. Note: this is like Elton John performing his Oscar-winning theme song at the awards night, i.e. it doesn't count for next year.
#40 by TreeFrog
2009-01-23 02:58:00
G-Man (#33):
I think I am PC's Most Overlooked Troll.

Y'all hear something?

Moat.
#41 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-23 07:55:59
http://uglycode.com
OK. Claiming that you're not a redneck with a southern accent definitely accounts to something, but not enough for an award.
#42 by Gunp01nt
2009-01-23 09:01:12
supersimon33@hotmail.com
Pictures of my new place!

"IT consultant of perfect lovemaking art."
- randomly generated subject header of a spam e-mail
#43 by m0nty
2009-01-23 12:28:35
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Tastefully furnished.
#44 by Gunp01nt
2009-01-23 12:57:04
supersimon33@hotmail.com
It's the latest thing in ecological footprint-free living.

"IT consultant of perfect lovemaking art."
- randomly generated subject header of a spam e-mail
#45 by FoRmaT
2009-01-23 13:04:22
It also leaves more space for parties, Brian.

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#46 by G-Man
2009-01-23 17:39:10
Exterior looks pretty run down but interior is fine enough. Hard to believe you had to pay a €1000 broker fee for that place. I guess that's Europe for you though.
#47 by FoRmaT
2009-01-23 18:27:08
Renting in Germany:

you get a naked-walls, empty apartment, and have to paint/wallpaper-ize and furnish it yourself, and when you move out you have to tear off the wallpaper etc. again  (Upside to this, compared to how it is in Spain, is that you don't have to live with broken beds, rotten kitchen cupboards and 1970 furniture while your landlord lives in a mansion with golden taps).

Estate agent's commission, the so called "courtage" is 2,38x months of rent. And you have to leave a deposit of mostly two, sometimes three months rent.

Then you pay a "cold" rent, on top of which you have to pay a monthly ~100€ (in the area where I am) for "housekeeping", which can mean "you can use the rubbish container" to "we have a gardener, housekeeper, we mow the lawn, you can park here, your kid can play in the garden, we put salt on the frozen paths...", and on top of that you have to pay the fucking horrendous gas/electricity bills five times a year, and have to make/receive a final, corrected payment at the end of the year.

You have to advise the landlord with three months of your anticipation when you want to leave, or you won't get your deposit back.

In Spain it's a bit more relaxed, if your landlords are cool, you tell them a few days in advance and they'll usually give you back the one (sometimes two) months deposit. But many landlords are total assholes and rip you off by retaining totally unreasonable amounts of money for every damned stain or imperfection you might leave behind.

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#48 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-23 20:23:29
http://uglycode.com
You could buy house like Gunpoint's for maybe $200'000 in Prague, near the center. You can rent 2-room apt. for around $750; estate agencies usually ask for one month's rent + tax for themselves, and you usually need to pay 1-3 months' worth first.
#49 by FoRmaT
2009-01-23 20:25:37
How bad is crime in Prague? (Not a snipe, but an honest question)

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#50 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-23 20:30:18
http://uglycode.com
Beware of pickpockets and use common sense. I haven't run into trouble yet, and haven't heard of much. I feel comfortable leaving pubs around midnight and walking 3 miles home when I miss last bus to where I live (20km from Prague).
I wouldn't want to work in retail here, or be one of the demographics targeted by skinheads, but other than that, I think it's OK for a city.
#51 by FoRmaT
2009-01-23 20:33:14
Doesn't really sound any worse than Berlin... I want to see you city one day; it looks very lovely. I might just drive there sometime and spend a day or three.

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#52 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-23 20:35:01
http://uglycode.com
Oh, snap!
#53 by deadlock
2009-01-23 21:37:38
http://www.deadlocked.org/
G-Man (#46):
Exterior looks pretty run down but interior is fine enough. Hard to believe you had to pay a €1000 broker fee for that place. I guess that's Europe for you though.

Yep. Good ol' homogenous, one-nation, monocultural Europe. Or 'Yurp' as you silly Americanos like to call it.

#54 by Gunp01nt
2009-01-23 21:41:02
supersimon33@hotmail.com
The whole house (my apartment plus the floor above it) was for sale mid last year for € 194.000, with an added 'needs full renovation'. Now fully renovated I assume it would go for about € 250.000.

If I could buy just my apartment, I'm sure I'd have lower monthly costs (except for the huge broker's fee and buyer's costs at the start which could run up to € 15.000) but I really don't feel that I can commit myself to a place for that long at this point. The only commitment I'd have to make now is to stay at this place for at least two years, otherwise it wouldn't be worth the brokerage fee.

"IT consultant of perfect lovemaking art."
- randomly generated subject header of a spam e-mail
#55 by Gunp01nt
2009-01-23 21:41:19
supersimon33@hotmail.com
Did I mention that the housing market in Holland is insane?

"IT consultant of perfect lovemaking art."
- randomly generated subject header of a spam e-mail
#56 by lwf
2009-01-23 22:06:24
Europe is just another flyover state to me.

Handsome like a coat hanger. Wii.
#57 by Shadarr
2009-01-23 22:10:05
shadarr@gmail.com http://digital-luddite.com
That was weak.  This is why you don't win a TOTY.

Witnesses in the house heard Jones say "why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?" A few moments later, the witness heard the son say "Mama you done stabbed me."
#58 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-23 22:32:47
http://uglycode.com
Yeah, Bob's post about 3rd world of gaming was much more annoying. You're just getting... more squeaky.
#59 by m0nty
2009-01-24 05:17:50
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I am sick of seeing Prague. Every other film is made there these days, it seems.
#60 by Milan Brezovský
2009-01-24 12:20:11
http://uglycode.com
Oh, come on. Most of them are probably imitations of Prague shot in Vienna or something. IMDB lists only 933 films, and most of them seem to be Czech.
#61 by bago
2009-01-29 02:32:59
manga_Rando@hotmail.com
I need another syllable to complete "Trolling Without Moving", sung to Jamiroquai. Trololing?

Sabrina Poirier, a student at Pensacola who withdrew in 1997, was disciplined for what is known on the campus as "optical intercourse" � staring too intently into the eyes of a member of the opposite sex. This is also referred to as "making eye babies."
#62 by FoRmaT
2009-01-29 03:29:40
What?

"Action stars of two decades ago shot .44 bullets out of their cocks. Honestly, if me and Charles Bronson were in the same room I'd kill myself just to make sure he didn't hurt me."
#63 by m0nty
2009-01-29 04:35:38
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
The local temperature is currently 44.8C/112.6F. That is all.
#64 by OwenButler
2009-01-29 04:38:43
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
It's pretty ridiculous isn't it.  I don't have aircon in the house.  I may expire soon.

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