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Commodities Vs Character...
Submitted March 15th 2018, 05:59 CET by LaReveur
I actually wrote / shared this before... but I thought it would be amusing to see what your thoughts on this would be (or if anyone else felt the same)... as I have come under the conclusion that this could very well be the reason as to why I've become such a socially recluse hermit since I was 12... (also - my apologies in advance if this turns out to be a long post).
I've noticed recurring themes in people found in typical relationships that we have with them, compared to the more seemingly "rare" qualities and (or) values we look for in people (or humanity in general).
Example: We all sell ideologies constantly (whether it be on facebook, or in actual company). The ideal qualities of loyalty, honesty, compassion, kindness, etc... etc...
However, the same people who "sell" these posts or sentiments are often a part of the larger statistic who seem to define friendship as "shared pleasures" rather than "mutual aid" and also seem to define love as a celebration of an individual's commodities (ex: looks, money, intelligence, personality) rather than their character (honesty, loyalty, compassion, etc...).
If you challenge them on this glaring contradiction, their most typical counter argument is: "It's just a preference. We all have them." While that may be true, there is a huge difference between "preference" and a "requirement." I actually challenged this when a friend of mine told me that she would never date a man shorter than her - which struck me as insanely odd. When I told her that her counter argument is not expressing any form of preference (but more of a requirement) she only snapped back: "Look, I just know what I want and what makes me happy. I'm sure you have your standards, too."
Or when we have friends that we shared good times with, trusted enough in their character after such time was spent with them to make sacrifices for, bail out, etc...etc.. only to find that they dodge or completely disappear the moment we ourselves hit a rough patch.... It becomes apparent that too many people define such friendships as "shared pleasures" rather than "mutual aid." They'll go to the party with you, but leave when it's time to clean up.
I've entertained a belief that most people simply think (or manifest attitudes) that perceive other people as benefits... and simply put all the deeper values of character as a behavior... to "showcase" to others (instead of their attitude). When it should be reversed. Your attitude should be holding the value, and your behavior can reflect whatever benefit it wants. Because a person's attitude is much more far reaching, and difficult to modify, than their behavior. Example: Let's say you despise your job that you were employed with for years, and because of this - you are always late. As your boss, I tell you that if you continue being late, you will lose your job. So, you end up arriving on time. Your attitude is still the same: You still hate your job. But your behavior seemingly changed overnight.
So, our behavior sells all the good values of character, honesty, etc... as a front (because people tend to sell things they never actually use) when it conflicts with their already pre-conditioned attitudes, ego and need for instant self gratification... which seems to only increase as our technology keeps advancing and catering to it.
What results is disastrous: Identity crisis, divorce, malignant narcissism and entitlement. Yet, despite their own past and self inflicted pains - they keep repeating the same mistakes. Others call it life, I call it willful stupidity - which something I can't stand.... don't even get me started on religion.
This is something that I was never able to understand, but at least became aware of enough to feel that the best option was to avoid all of the drama altogether. Yet, that seems to spring up newfound forms of unwanted drama (such as concerned families and friends who wish I were more social, outgoing, etc..).
But perception is everything, why that is so hard for people to understand - what I can't understand the most about them.
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